Good Byes Are So Hard

This week has been one of the hardest weeks I've experienced in a long time. Early Tuesday morning we awoke to the sound of Bear's nails clambering on the hardwood floor next to our bed. When I finally got the light on to see what was going on, I saw that he had urinated on his pillow and the floor. I encouraged him to go outside but he was very wobbly as he walked. He actually banged into the wall. It was as if he were drunk. As we waited for the vet's office to open, he vomited twice and had increased difficulty walking and standing.

At 10, we loaded him in the car to head to the vet. He was able to walk but was wobbly and actually fell twice from losing his balance. LW finally carried him to the car.
Upon arrival at the vet, he was able to walk into the room, very shakily. The vet checked him out and listened as we explained the morning's events. He decided to treat him for vertigo. I didn't know dogs could experience vertigo. Bear was given fluids under the skin to avoid dehydration and a strong shot of something to help with the nausea. Massive drooling in dogs is a sign of nausea and boy was he drooling. We were given pills to administer at home over the next 4 days.  If it was vertigo, we should see some fairly quick improvements.

 We took him home, made him a bed of blankets in his favorite spot just outside Michael's room and my office. He stayed there all the rest of Tuesday, not even interested in water or food.

Late Tuesday, we attempted to get him up and to go outside for the bathroom. He was unable to stand or walk. And it was clearly stressing him out.

So he has remained on the bed we made for him, only moving when we need to change the soiled blankets. Then it is the three of us who actually move him. He has attempted to sit up but can't really do that. He lifts his head to look at you but can't maintain it for long.

He did get most of the way up on his haunches when I came in the house yesterday after a meeting. But soon he had to lay back down. He isn't eating but will take a little water every now and then. Overnight he licked on an ice cube.

Obviously there is more going on than vertigo. I told the boys that I actually wonder if he had had a seizure on Tuesday morning when he woke us up.

Now it is Friday. He has definitely declined. Not being able to walk or stand is no kind of life. I've been laying on the floor with him off and on since Tuesday. I want him to know I'm here and that he is not alone. But because of that I have not really slept since I woke up on Tuesday morning.  I am exhausted mentally and physically.  I should be napping now but I can't.  I want to stay busy near Bear.

Lauren will get here today around lunch and we have a vet appointment today at 4. We are most likely going to have to say good bye to him this afternoon.

This dog has been such a good boy. He laid with me and never left my side when I was stuck at home in bed with a broken leg in 2011. He loves his Michael, Lauren, David and daddy. He allowed a puppy named Luna to play with him when she first arrived in our home, even though I am sure he was not thrilled about it. He has tolerated the rambunctious Duke. He has been the best companion  a human could ask for and will be greatly missed.

My heart is breaking but as my mom said this is the price we pay for their love and faithfulness. She is absolutely correct and I wouldn't trade our time with this amazing animal just because it hurts now when we are about to lose him.

Please keep all of us in your thoughts. If you've been through this you know what we are experiencing. I appreciate all the comments and messages I have received. We are lucky to have such a great support system.

Look at these two doing what they do best..

Look at this beautiful guy!

Love you Bubba.💔